“Take this job and…”
These are the first four words from the six-word, attention grabbing title of the 1977 song by Johnny Paycheck.
But, wait…
Before you hit “send” on that resignation letter…
Consider that the FREEDOM you’re looking for might have more to do with your cognition than your circumstances.
We’ve been (subconsciously) conditioned to think that happiness – of which freedom is an essential ingredient – is circumstance-dependent.
“I’ll feel free when ____________ happens.”
“Once I get ______________, then I’ll be free.”
“I can’t __________ yet.”
“I won’t be able to until __________.”
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes a change of circumstance can be useful but, more often than not, it’s the (subconscious) habit of helplessness that is getting in the way of the feeling of freedom.
That’s why the Freedom Habit is the third habit in my Habits of Happiness Workshop series.
Imagine this: Jerry is sitting on his back porch, attempting to enjoy watching the sunset while simultaneously feeling like he is getting eaten alive by mosquitos.
It’s hard to tell what’s causing more harm to Jerry – the mosquitos or the force of his own open right hand as he delivers a self-administered beating while slapping at these awful insects?
Meanwhile, Jerry is complaining to himself about the ‘fact’ that he can’t pay attention to the beauty of the sunset because of these freakin’ mosquitos.
At any moment, he is free to get up and go inside – but, for some reason, this doesn’t occur to him as something to do.
Jerry is not experiencing the feeling of freedom.
He might have a story he is telling himself about why he SHOULD be outside watching the sunset – “Good people sit outdoors and watch sunsets.” “I would be a bad person if I just ignored the beauty of a sunset.” “Just think of how many ‘likes’ I’ll get on Instagram when I post this beauty!” “It’s a family tradition – my parents would be disappointed with me if I didn’t watch and appreciate the beauty of a sunset.”
Whatever his story, let’s not forget, no one is forcing him to be outside.
If watching a sunset is something that truly matters to Jerry – because he chooses for it to matter to him (not because he’s been told it should be important to him), then I think it would be useful for Jerry’s mind to be thinking something along the lines of:
“Watching sunsets while outdoors is important to me – because I say it’s important to me. And, in the process of watching sunsets, I might encounter some mosquitoes. They are part of the price of admission to being able to do what matters to me.”
I’m not suggesting that a change in Jerry’s thinking is all that’s necessary, but I think it’s a good place to start.
Maybe taking an action, or two, would be useful. Perhaps he just needs to put on some insect repellent and light a citronella candle.
But, because we humans have been conditioned to think: “I can’t do ________.” “I have to ___________.”, we routinely find ourselves feeling trapped as we go through life.
What is it in your life, daily or occasionally, that leaves you feeling trapped? Think of something specific.
What story are you telling yourself about it? (It might sound something like: “I have to do __________ because ___________.”)
But, what if your natural state is freedom – a habit you were born with but one that was quickly broken by those around you?
And, what if we could restore the habit of freedom (without needing to go back to the sippy cup phase)?
What if your life, instead of being one big obligation to endure, was an opportunity to explore???
How would that positively impact your life – your happiness, your health, your relationships, your performance?
I don’t know if the answer for you is to “put on some insect repellent and light a citronella candle,” or “go inside,” or “embrace the mosquitos as the price of admission to watching sunsets while outdoors,” but I do believe that you, like the rest of us humans, actually have more freedom than you are experiencing.
It is possible to learn a new way to think about freedom – creating a shift in your mindset – that, when turned into a habit, will result in you routinely and reliably experiencing subconscious freedom so that you can shift…
- from obligation → OPPORTUNITY
- from problem → POTENTIAL
- from caged → COURAGEOUS
In summary…
- Freedom is an essential component of happiness.
- Freedom comes naturally to us, but is ‘trained out’ of us early in life.
- Freedom can be redeveloped as a habit.
So, if you want to turn freedom into a habit, instead of waiting for the weekend, or that yearly vacation, let’s chat!
If you’re interested in learning more about what working with me could look like, you can schedule a complimentary consultation with me (via Zoom) by clicking this link.